Thursday, 17 March 2011

Things are not what they seem

OMG I have some much to tell you all.  Where to begin on what has been a random few weeks.

I'll start by telling you about the antics of one of my colleagues who I will affectionately refer to a Katy Brand (aka Katy Perry), this nickname is partly because, in her opinion, she bears a resemblance to the pop diva however the rest of us just think she is more like the aboves, less musically talented more sexually charged husband.  Which ever view you take our Katy Brand is a sex demon at the minute.

Her story begins about two weeks ago when she was having this text fling with some muscle bound machanic/builder/plumber/something that involves dirt and grease! Miss Brand then found herself in the situation where the inevitable had to happen.  Yes boys and girls they bumped uglies, but not in the regular sense  of the phrase you understand, oh no there was no actual bumping involved as after 20 minutes of (in my opinion overrated!) foreplay the grease monkey would not stand to attention!!  Poor Katy didn't know what to do with herself and in the end retreated to the bathroom, perhaps in the hope that the absense would make his heart grow fonder, but alas it was not meant to be.  Upon her return to the room it was lights out!

Actually Katy's story has got me thinking about a few things that have happend over the last few weeks with things not appearing to be what they should.  For example when GAGA and I went to some bar for dinner recently she decided to have some fabulous sounding French dish which involved pastry and cheese.  When it arrived it was nothing more that a posh cheese and onion pasty on a bed of rocket leaves, which just goes to show you that you are probably better off going for the meat and potato pie everytime.  No the reason I say about things not being what they seem is because I am currently in the process of looking for an apartment.  It's a nightmare and as hard as hell to actually get to the point where you would be able to put your money down!  Bloody letting agents should be called let down agents in my opinion!!

A least I can rely on work to provide me with 8 hours worth of distractions and multiple dramas.  One such drama is called the "Try and Remember How Much I Drank and Made a Dick of Myself in Front of Clients" game which took place last Friday.  All I know is that I insulted one of them, stole a drink off another and probably spent more money than I needed to.  Friday was then followed by a Saturday hang over and the recovery of memory loss which brought on waves of ditress mixed with tiredness and a bad case of dry mouth.  Having had no sleep on Friday night or Saturday I was then expected to run around some old fire station in persuit of paranormal activity which was actually quite interesting and I am not afraid to say a little frightening!  Especially the whole 999 thing which I know means nothing to you dear readers but trust me at the time I was shitting myself.

Thinking about it I am quite looking forward to this weekend and the lack of anything to do what with horny colleagues, posh pasties, apartments and ghost hunting I am well ready for a rest...

P.S. is it me or is this blog now less about my work life and Sex and the City meets Shameless?!

1 comment:

  1. Miss Brand sounds like she needs to sort her antics out!